Emailasaurus


I just did something I've been meaning to do for quite some time... clean up my Yahoo mail account.

I had 625 unread messages awaiting my tender care and devotion. I was touched at how persistent Target.com was at soliciting my affections, and surprised at how urgently someone I had never met wanted me to look at pictures of Jessica Simpson. I really didn' t notice how friendly the internet community could be! Email after email of job opportunities, romance and free offers. These messages promised a world filled with free laptops, gift cards, cameras, and even a $250 Starbucks card. That's a lot of soy milk chai lattes!

But unfortunately, I didn't have the time to look at Hotgrl45's pictures or Coolguy73's opportunity to work from home. I was tempted by John Smith's subject heading of "Urgent attention required" and SuzQ3's message headed: "re:Last Night." "re:"? Does that mean she's replying to a message I sent? I don't remember sending any emails to that address? Last night?

But I resisted. I was on a mission to go from 625 emails to 5 emails. But the going was slow. Target.com - Ancestry.com - NFL.com - Real.com.
Coolguy - Hotgrl - QDdishe-

It was endless. But finally, I had a stroke of genius. By sorting my mail by name, I could delete... er, I mean "carefully review" all the emails from Coolguy at the same time. Hmmm... he really did think it was important for me to be able to work from home. In fact, he tried to remind me at least once a week. That's tenacity. Oh well, I figure if it's that important he'll get me eventually.

*Delete*
*Block as junk*

(no offense Coolguy, consider it a further test of your commitment. Who knows, some day I may go through the 4540 emails in my bulk folder.)

---no joke, I do have 4540 emails in my bulk folder right now.

*Delete All*

---not anymore!!!

So in my quest I learned a couple things. First is that people I actually want to hear from do send email to my address. Second is that there is a 99% chance that I never saw it. So to Ben, I apologize. Never saw the invitation to join the football picking game... probably would have liked it. At least I'm not jealous anymore when I hear people talk about it and wonder, "Why didn't anyone invite me?". To Dad Willis, I'm also sorry. 100's of forwards could have been mine for the taking, but alas!

Actually, he realized I don't check home email very much, and has been routing them to me at work. It's nice to be reminded that Ohio hates Michigan every couple weeks, or that musicians are quirky.

Seriously though, I do read them, since I know that unlike the other 150 emails I get at work each day, they won't require any serious attention. And don't tell anyone this, but I often reforward them on to coworkers...

So it's done. My email is clean for now. Coolguy has been restrained, and my life seems complete even without pictures of Jessica Simpson. I'll try to be better about checking email from home. If I check it at least as often as I post on my blog, that'll be... twice a month!